He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
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Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
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Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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