Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
