So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize