i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Randomize
