I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
