quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
