3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
No more Irish car bombs ever.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
