It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
