I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
He is an equal opportunity slut.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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