he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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