I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
farters have to be the big spoon...
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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