I just made out with a guy for $7.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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