Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
