Umm I'm too high to move.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
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