She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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