We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
