I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
