Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
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