you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
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