the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
