How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
