Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
