I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
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