his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
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