I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Randomize
