well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
