You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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