Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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