I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
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