Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
