Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize