I just cut my nipple shaving
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
