I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
