Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Randomize