the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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