so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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