i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Randomize