I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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