Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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