Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
