i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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