I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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