Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
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