I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
