Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
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I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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