You're so nebulous sometimes
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize