everyone is single if you try hard enough
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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