You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
another moral hangover. fuck.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
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