Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Randomize
