Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Randomize
