If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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