I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
