Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
