All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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