I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
