you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
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