Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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