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hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
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