There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.