My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
21 Dirty Secrets From Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties That Have Destroyed Marriages
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me