just sent my roommate on a cheese run
you traded sex for a burrito?
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Deaf chicks here I come
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
These 19 People Are Into The Grossest Sex Fetishes
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
People Weigh In On Whether It’s Okay to Bang Your Roommate
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.