i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize