Texts From Last Night

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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view

  (1-405): View more from Oklahoma

  that's Oklahoma for you

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  (405): I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view (1-405): that's Oklahoma for you http://tfl.nu/8v2d
  Replies (11) Good night (590) Bad night (1973)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  I looked at my own cervix.

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  (713): I looked at my own cervix. http://tfl.nu/c8go
  Replies (24) Good night (966) Bad night (2863)
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  (752): View more from California

  i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt

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  (752): i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt http://tfl.nu/4czo
  Replies (50) Good night (6156) Bad night (1024)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.

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  (859): Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine. http://tfl.nu/7uwl
  Replies (15) Good night (5012) Bad night (1492)
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  (636): View more from Missouri

  The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'

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  (636): The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.' http://tfl.nu/hueh
  Replies (10) Good night (1111) Bad night (4460)
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.

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  (828): Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt. http://tfl.nu/toh0
  Replies (23) Good night (3084) Bad night (1012)
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  (260): View more from Indiana

  She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.

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  (260): She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son. http://tfl.nu/cl4b
  Replies (6) Good night (775) Bad night (2052)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.

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  (717): Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes. http://tfl.nu/frv8
  Replies (2) Good night (1242) Bad night (447)
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  (807): View more from Ontario

  id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday

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  (807): id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday http://tfl.nu/24kf
  Replies (13) Good night (1227) Bad night (842)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20

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  (541): Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20 http://tfl.nu/r4sg
  Replies (4) Good night (1175) Bad night (429)
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  (323): View more from California

  Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....

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  (323): Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner.... http://tfl.nu/erk9
  Replies (8) Good night (1715) Bad night (784)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA

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  (330): lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA http://tfl.nu/ocjg
  Replies (5) Good night (310) Bad night (830)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room

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  (403): I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room http://tfl.nu/v5e3
  Replies (1) Good night (412) Bad night (543)
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  (707): View more from California

  He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.

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  (707): He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible. http://tfl.nu/0sea
  Replies (2) Good night (425) Bad night (155)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.

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  (978): He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick. http://tfl.nu/adsg
  Replies (5) Good night (1079) Bad night (207)

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