Texts From Last Night

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  (810): View more from Michigan

  I wish I could teleport

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  (810): I wish I could teleport http://tfl.nu/48ko
  Replies (13) Good night (1727) Bad night (690)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate

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  (713): then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate http://tfl.nu/58hb
  Replies (32) Good night (6222) Bad night (1158)
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  (862): View more from New Jersey

  I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?

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  (862): I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this? http://tfl.nu/11gl
  Replies (3) Good night (976) Bad night (4084)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..

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  (814): that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before.. http://tfl.nu/lsu6
  Replies (5) Good night (1178) Bad night (2091)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza

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  (832): Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza http://tfl.nu/lbxf
  Replies (9) Good night (1808) Bad night (1904)
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  (408): View more from California

  I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year

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  (408): I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year http://tfl.nu/dryh
  Replies (3) Good night (1793) Bad night (732)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story

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  (816): If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story http://tfl.nu/6mc2
  Replies (6) Good night (1032) Bad night (1485)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.

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  (770): You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building. http://tfl.nu/mjb6
  Replies (18) Good night (982) Bad night (2365)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots

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  (920): Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots http://tfl.nu/w4ec
  Replies (7) Good night (1357) Bad night (590)
• Favorite

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.

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  (414): I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work. http://tfl.nu/n3jo
  Replies (0) Good night (1284) Bad night (517)
• Favorite

  (517): View more from Michigan

  And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.

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  (517): And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you. http://tfl.nu/j63g
  Replies (12) Good night (1076) Bad night (660)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.

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  (203): Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed. http://tfl.nu/vekr
  Replies (5) Good night (1012) Bad night (647)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.

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  (512): Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time. http://tfl.nu/pc17
  Replies (5) Good night (688) Bad night (366)
• Favorite

  (+61): View more from Australia

  You were supposed to behave this weekend.

  (1+61): View more from

  But... naked.

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  (+61): You were supposed to behave this weekend. (1+61): But... naked. http://tfl.nu/grfl
  Replies (3) Good night (811) Bad night (315)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night

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  (248): Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night http://tfl.nu/dll5
  Replies (4) Good night (265) Bad night (131)

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